TATri DEVOTEE: There are some educational currents that speak of all education as 'self education' and that teachers and educators are the environment of the child who educates himself according to the destiny he carries within. How would this be from the Tatri Vidya Mataji?
MATAJI: Om TATri Om, beloved.
It's like this: in TATri that doesn't work like that. Automatically the spirit when he chooses the social nucleus, (that is, people often confuse what it is), when the spirit chooses the social-family nucleus where he is born, he is educating himself.
But a child in mental-physical form, he cannot educate himself. He has intrinsic and subjective abilities for his nature, both spiritual and neurological predisposition by genetic programming that will respond to the environment in which he lives. So what happens there: parents have the right and obligation to take charge of educating their children.
For those verses of that text, without wanting to disrespect this man, but for me that is verse, that most of today's kids have so many disorders, and I'm not talking about disorders of context or neurological constitution. I am talking about constitution of bad upbringing?, of parents who do not use the sufficient affective and functional time to the children's reality with the excuse that ‘they must explore’. In other words, yes, they should explore according to their age stage. Parents have to allow children to form naturally, but they have to be there, watching and holding up their footsteps. Do I explain myself?
So, guiding and being an example, showing them, beyond their own experience or possibility of experience, what should be done or not, because for that the son has chosen that father and that mother. For that, that spirit has chosen that family context. So it is a possibility for parents to observe themselves also, to be the father and mother that this spirit has chosen beyond social conditioning.
So, it is not about following a pre-established behavior, but yes, it is the duty of parents to be responsible for the education of their children. To teach them what to do, what not to do, at least while they (the sameones) live under your roof, you have to teach them obligations and duties and affection. It is important. That even animals do. Imagine Animals do that: they are an example to their children and show them what they should do and how they should do it. And why do we have to invent things to open our hands and wash our hands of our children's education. Is it understood?
So, first is the example, not just being an empty word and second is: EDUCATE, in all what this word implies. So much to pay attention to what he does when he comes from school, when he goes to school, what he needs, his food, the quality of the things he watch, the type of connection he has at a social level, the type of interaction he provides. In other words, be careful not to expose them at social level unnecessarily. They are things that are very important. And definitely the human puppy. They can't educate themself. He can not. He needs the example of parents and to feel contained by functional, both behavioral and affective education to feel protected.
And that training and education, parents have the obligation to do and set the limits, from science, the psychic constitution of the human being culminates, that is, it is completed (reaches the top) At 7 years old. Until the age of 7 you have how to educate a child, after that he will only answer about the example you give him. It does not mean that before the age of 7 he does not learn, for example, he is going to learn, but he is going to be open to what you tell him: yes, no, yes, no... He is going to be open to your word and your example.
Then after 7 years old, he will be open to your example. Not to your word. Because it is a process of independence from being. Of being recognized oneself as an individual being with personal choices. But, beyond that, he has to understand that there are education hierarchies that start at home. And that hierarchy is: as much as he becomes independent at the emotional and thought level and can begin to think for himself and conclude on his own, he is under the paternal and maternal hierarchy. Where as long as he lives in this place, he has to respect the order of this place: the time to wake up, the time to eat, the time to bathe, clean the room... is that understood? All those things. Because they are values, principles and values that parents have the obligation to transmit to their children minimally.
After that, from about the age of 11 to 12, there they begin to be even more independent. And depending on how your relationship or that of your mother and father with the children was in those two stages, he will listen to you, he will listen to you again in that stage, or not. He is going to choose to learn to the blows of life or he is going to choose to be more introverted and listen to you. So there are two options there:Either you become a friend (a son / daughter friend), or you become conflictive. It will depend on how was that bond with that dad / with that mom. And that does not mean that it is good or bad. It means that both are natural. It will depend on how he responds to the previous stage. But at that stage of pre-adolescence, puberty, adolescence, you can no longer educate a child. Neither by word nor by example. Here you can accompain him.
But obviously, beyond that you cannot educate him by word or by example, he must still be under your roof, respond to your hierarchical order as mother or father, as part of the socio-family system.
So that when he goes outside your house, he knows that there are limits of values that he must respect. Not to end up in a penitentiary or being imprisoned by the police for having no limits.
For example, there are many cases of boys, which is not a lack of possibility, it is a lack of education and paternal and maternal limits. I know many people who come from family who do not have economic conditions but have had an upbringing that is adequate to their psychological training. And obviously, all the educations of the parents and family will always generate some pre-existing trauma for us, because we will never agree 100% with the way we were raised. There will always be a failure in front of us, to our expectations of the family nucleus.
But obviously, beyond you cannot educate him by word or by example, he must still being under your roof, respond to your hierarchical order as mother or father, as part of the socio-family system.
So that when he goes outside your house, he knows that there are limits of values that he must respect. Not to end up in a penitentiary or being imprisoned by the police for having no limits.
For example, there are many cases of boys, which it is not lack of possibility, it is a lack of education and paternal and maternal limits. I know many people who come from family who do not have economic conditions but have had an upbringing that is adequate to their psychological training. And obviously, all the educations of the parents and family will always generate some pre-existing trauma for us, because we will never agree 100% with the way we were raised. There will always be a failure in front of us, to our expectations of the family nucleus.
But, the result is the most important thing, in that case. If you are a person who respects others, the elderly, who respects your own nature, that you love yourself, that you take care of yourself, that you respect others, is that understood? that you can coexist in society without generating conflicts that break with what is established. Do you understand how it is ?. If you can develop and live on your own, then all that, I am talking about a normal brain, I am not talking about a creature that has a neurological problem, because there are many contexts of parents who have, I have many devotees for example, who have children They are eternal kids, even if they are 20 years old, 30 years old, but if they have a sick neurological base or constitution of special beings who have come to teach us from another place, it is something else. I'm talking about normal kids who get sick from lack of family education. Precisely because of that type of behavior of psychology, of classical pseudo psychology, which gives too much freedom to children and little responsibility and duties.
So we, to institute ourselves as part of a functional social context, in a way we can be part of a productive gear to administer freedom, we have to recognize the internal limits. if not there is no way to recognize the freedom to manage and expand it responsibly. So if there are no limits, there is no way one can manage and administer freedom. When he meets the possibility of waking up, he does not know what to do.
So, after 12 years old, what happens is that: you can only accompany your children. And he has to respect your space because in TATri I always say that there are no 2 kings and 2 queens in a single castle. So you can say: prince, princess ... but as long as you are the person who is the head of the family, he has to respect that. Because then there is that limit that will make him live in a dignified way outside the doors of your house, without social problems.
And after that, when he is older and he is gone, you will only be able to access his life if he gives you space. So it is to be present in his reality as much as you can and that he knows that you will be present whenever he needs you, justly, obviously.
And the mental Constitution of a creature is:
First, that the father or mother does not try to harm the mother's or father's figure internally or externally. If there is a conflict between the couple, that they do not forget that they are talking about the father or mother of their child. So, that the conflicts be private between the man and the woman and that the children can contemplate their parents in a mutual respectful way with mutual respect. Let neither disavow the other in front of the creature because that only generates conflict and internal/external vulnerability of the creature. And in case there is a disagreement , consider it privately never in front of the creature, out of respect for his psyche. We are talking about the inner father and mother. How many of us have ‘bought’ fights unfairly, or with our mother or father, for taking sides with one or the other because we believed that one of them was the victim. And beyond, even if it is, what is most important? Dad is how he deals with you like dad, it is how you deal as mother or father with your child. Obviously you have to respect his mother or father, but never forget that you chose the couple.
He chose mom and dad and both in that role have to respect each other. They have no right to try to destroy the inner image of anyone's mom and dad. Because through that internal image that we communicate with society in an affective and functional way, we have the reference of communication and psychic protection according to our internal structure developed with our affections, with our parents or with the people who were in that role. So one dad is the communication reference and the other is the one who represents me when I have to defend myself.
So, you even observe, in emerging moments, who you bring to light: your father or your mother? there is always one. And it is very interesting because whenever you bring this out to defend yourself what bothered you from your father or your mother. Why? Because it is this that you repudiated that you think will protect you from the other and you will use this in the same way as repellent and protection. Is it understood? And it is unconscious. Take into account. And the same thing happens the other way around: what you associate with and resonate with both dad and mom, is what you use to bond emotionally. Because you were unconsciously programmed into this affect. So, the affective connection is going to be generated from that place.
The same way that you felt like ‘apapachado’, right? emotionally, it is how you are going to try to 'cuddle' the other. That works like this.
It is very wonderful when you do it from awareness and observation, and you realize it, because you can recognize your parents in both situations, both in bonds and in the moment of self-protection. It's very cool. And then when you start looking at them with eyes without judgment, you will see all the flaws, but without judgment. So he goes to see: ‘Ah, look at my dad part and my mom part, how cool it is’. And you can use that to your advantage later, not with conflict, because when you bring out conflict that is a very powerful tool and it's wonderful.
And another thing that is important for you. Keep in mind that all children's education is also based on exhausting all possibilities. In being genuine with responsibility and exhausting all possibilities to preserve their PHYSICAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL integrity. Be genuine, responsible: you as parents to preserve your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual integrity by taking responsibility for what you generate by being.
Then how he will react to your education, to your limit, as a father / mother will depend on his own intrinsic nature. So it is a functional coexistence between the son or the daughter and the mother or the father. They coexist and form each other, in that sense. But never alone. A human being can never educate himself. We were not born to educate ourselves, we were born to live collectively. And more, there are scientific studies for example, which confirm that a puppy - I say puppy because it gives me tenderness - a human puppy, in the first days and months, if you do not give him affection (conscious affection, I am not just talking about giving him food , change his diapers and throw him in the crib or throw him there); he cannot survive. You have to feel minimal conscious and directed affect to be able to exist psychically, physically. Imagine ... they have done experiments on it. That is no longer mine, they are scientific experiments, beyond my own scientific and practical observation. It is like they have done research on that affective aspect and it is important that you take this into account:within TATri you have to be genuine, with responsibility for the product of your actions in relation to mental, physical, emotional and spiritual protection. Protection and education of your children from the attitude of the word and from the attitude and example. Because it is from there that they will learn in different phases of their psychic constitution. And it is very important.
And it is the quality of the time that you spend raising and being with them. The quality of sharing is more important than the quantity of the present time. So if the little or long time they share is of an affective and exemplary quality, that is enough for the psyche of the son or daughter. Even for the father and mother internally and externally at the level of consciousness as well. And when one exhausts the possibilities, one feels at peace. Remember that. When I don't exhaust the possibilities, I feel disturbed. Remember that. So how do I know if I have exhausted the possibilities: I look at the whole context and feel Peace. If I do not feel peace in relation to the upbringing, it is because I am not exhausting the tangible possibilities. When I exhaust, beyond the external conflict, I feel peace. I have no internal conflict.
MATAJI: Om TATri Om, beloved.It's like this: in TATri that doesn't work like that. Automatically the spirit when he chooses the social nucleus, (that is, people often confuse what it is), when the spirit chooses the social-family nucleus where he is born, he is educating himself.
But a child in mental-physical form, he cannot educate himself. He has intrinsic and subjective abilities for his nature, both spiritual and neurological predisposition by genetic programming that will respond to the environment in which he lives. So what happens there: parents have the right and obligation to take charge of educating their children.
For those verses of that text, without wanting to disrespect this man, but for me that is verse, that most of today's kids have so many disorders, and I'm not talking about disorders of context or neurological constitution. I am talking about constitution of bad upbringing?, of parents who do not use the sufficient affective and functional time to the children's reality with the excuse that ‘they must explore’. In other words, yes, they should explore according to their age stage. Parents have to allow children to form naturally, but they have to be there, watching and holding up their footsteps. Do I explain myself?
So, guiding and being an example, showing them, beyond their own experience or possibility of experience, what should be done or not, because for that the son has chosen that father and that mother. For that, that spirit has chosen that family context. So it is a possibility for parents to observe themselves also, to be the father and mother that this spirit has chosen beyond social conditioning.
So, it is not about following a pre-established behavior, but yes, it is the duty of parents to be responsible for the education of their children. To teach them what to do, what not to do, at least while they (the sameones) live under your roof, you have to teach them obligations and duties and affection. It is important. That even animals do. Imagine Animals do that: they are an example to their children and show them what they should do and how they should do it. And why do we have to invent things to open our hands and wash our hands of our children's education. Is it understood?
So, first is the example, not just being an empty word and second is: EDUCATE, in all what this word implies. So much to pay attention to what he does when he comes from school, when he goes to school, what he needs, his food, the quality of the things he watch, the type of connection he has at a social level, the type of interaction he provides. In other words, be careful not to expose them at social level unnecessarily. They are things that are very important. And definitely the human puppy. They can't educate themself. He can not. He needs the example of parents and to feel contained by functional, both behavioral and affective education to feel protected.
And that training and education, parents have the obligation to do and set the limits, from science, the psychic constitution of the human being culminates, that is, it is completed (reaches the top) At 7 years old. Until the age of 7 you have how to educate a child, after that he will only answer about the example you give him. It does not mean that before the age of 7 he does not learn, for example, he is going to learn, but he is going to be open to what you tell him: yes, no, yes, no... He is going to be open to your word and your example.
Then after 7 years old, he will be open to your example. Not to your word. Because it is a process of independence from being. Of being recognized oneself as an individual being with personal choices. But, beyond that, he has to understand that there are education hierarchies that start at home. And that hierarchy is: as much as he becomes independent at the emotional and thought level and can begin to think for himself and conclude on his own, he is under the paternal and maternal hierarchy. Where as long as he lives in this place, he has to respect the order of this place: the time to wake up, the time to eat, the time to bathe, clean the room... is that understood? All those things. Because they are values, principles and values that parents have the obligation to transmit to their children minimally.
After that, from about the age of 11 to 12, there they begin to be even more independent. And depending on how your relationship or that of your mother and father with the children was in those two stages, he will listen to you, he will listen to you again in that stage, or not. He is going to choose to learn to the blows of life or he is going to choose to be more introverted and listen to you. So there are two options there:Either you become a friend (a son / daughter friend), or you become conflictive. It will depend on how was that bond with that dad / with that mom. And that does not mean that it is good or bad. It means that both are natural. It will depend on how he responds to the previous stage. But at that stage of pre-adolescence, puberty, adolescence, you can no longer educate a child. Neither by word nor by example. Here you can accompain him.
But obviously, beyond that you cannot educate him by word or by example, he must still be under your roof, respond to your hierarchical order as mother or father, as part of the socio-family system.
So that when he goes outside your house, he knows that there are limits of values that he must respect. Not to end up in a penitentiary or being imprisoned by the police for having no limits.
For example, there are many cases of boys, which is not a lack of possibility, it is a lack of education and paternal and maternal limits. I know many people who come from family who do not have economic conditions but have had an upbringing that is adequate to their psychological training. And obviously, all the educations of the parents and family will always generate some pre-existing trauma for us, because we will never agree 100% with the way we were raised. There will always be a failure in front of us, to our expectations of the family nucleus.
But obviously, beyond you cannot educate him by word or by example, he must still being under your roof, respond to your hierarchical order as mother or father, as part of the socio-family system.
So that when he goes outside your house, he knows that there are limits of values that he must respect. Not to end up in a penitentiary or being imprisoned by the police for having no limits.
For example, there are many cases of boys, which it is not lack of possibility, it is a lack of education and paternal and maternal limits. I know many people who come from family who do not have economic conditions but have had an upbringing that is adequate to their psychological training. And obviously, all the educations of the parents and family will always generate some pre-existing trauma for us, because we will never agree 100% with the way we were raised. There will always be a failure in front of us, to our expectations of the family nucleus.
But, the result is the most important thing, in that case. If you are a person who respects others, the elderly, who respects your own nature, that you love yourself, that you take care of yourself, that you respect others, is that understood? that you can coexist in society without generating conflicts that break with what is established. Do you understand how it is ?. If you can develop and live on your own, then all that, I am talking about a normal brain, I am not talking about a creature that has a neurological problem, because there are many contexts of parents who have, I have many devotees for example, who have children They are eternal kids, even if they are 20 years old, 30 years old, but if they have a sick neurological base or constitution of special beings who have come to teach us from another place, it is something else. I'm talking about normal kids who get sick from lack of family education. Precisely because of that type of behavior of psychology, of classical pseudo psychology, which gives too much freedom to children and little responsibility and duties.
So we, to institute ourselves as part of a functional social context, in a way we can be part of a productive gear to administer freedom, we have to recognize the internal limits. if not there is no way to recognize the freedom to manage and expand it responsibly. So if there are no limits, there is no way one can manage and administer freedom. When he meets the possibility of waking up, he does not know what to do.
So, after 12 years old, what happens is that: you can only accompany your children. And he has to respect your space because in TATri I always say that there are no 2 kings and 2 queens in a single castle. So you can say: prince, princess ... but as long as you are the person who is the head of the family, he has to respect that. Because then there is that limit that will make him live in a dignified way outside the doors of your house, without social problems.
And after that, when he is older and he is gone, you will only be able to access his life if he gives you space. So it is to be present in his reality as much as you can and that he knows that you will be present whenever he needs you, justly, obviously.
And the mental Constitution of a creature is:
First, that the father or mother does not try to harm the mother's or father's figure internally or externally. If there is a conflict between the couple, that they do not forget that they are talking about the father or mother of their child. So, that the conflicts be private between the man and the woman and that the children can contemplate their parents in a mutual respectful way with mutual respect. Let neither disavow the other in front of the creature because that only generates conflict and internal/external vulnerability of the creature. And in case there is a disagreement , consider it privately never in front of the creature, out of respect for his psyche. We are talking about the inner father and mother. How many of us have ‘bought’ fights unfairly, or with our mother or father, for taking sides with one or the other because we believed that one of them was the victim. And beyond, even if it is, what is most important? Dad is how he deals with you like dad, it is how you deal as mother or father with your child. Obviously you have to respect his mother or father, but never forget that you chose the couple.
He chose mom and dad and both in that role have to respect each other. They have no right to try to destroy the inner image of anyone's mom and dad. Because through that internal image that we communicate with society in an affective and functional way, we have the reference of communication and psychic protection according to our internal structure developed with our affections, with our parents or with the people who were in that role. So one dad is the communication reference and the other is the one who represents me when I have to defend myself.
So, you even observe, in emerging moments, who you bring to light: your father or your mother? there is always one. And it is very interesting because whenever you bring this out to defend yourself what bothered you from your father or your mother. Why? Because it is this that you repudiated that you think will protect you from the other and you will use this in the same way as repellent and protection. Is it understood? And it is unconscious. Take into account. And the same thing happens the other way around: what you associate with and resonate with both dad and mom, is what you use to bond emotionally. Because you were unconsciously programmed into this affect. So, the affective connection is going to be generated from that place.
The same way that you felt like ‘apapachado’, right? emotionally, it is how you are going to try to 'cuddle' the other. That works like this.
It is very wonderful when you do it from awareness and observation, and you realize it, because you can recognize your parents in both situations, both in bonds and in the moment of self-protection. It's very cool. And then when you start looking at them with eyes without judgment, you will see all the flaws, but without judgment. So he goes to see: ‘Ah, look at my dad part and my mom part, how cool it is’. And you can use that to your advantage later, not with conflict, because when you bring out conflict that is a very powerful tool and it's wonderful.
And another thing that is important for you. Keep in mind that all children's education is also based on exhausting all possibilities. In being genuine with responsibility and exhausting all possibilities to preserve their PHYSICAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL integrity. Be genuine, responsible: you as parents to preserve your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual integrity by taking responsibility for what you generate by being.
Then how he will react to your education, to your limit, as a father / mother will depend on his own intrinsic nature. So it is a functional coexistence between the son or the daughter and the mother or the father. They coexist and form each other, in that sense. But never alone. A human being can never educate himself. We were not born to educate ourselves, we were born to live collectively. And more, there are scientific studies for example, which confirm that a puppy - I say puppy because it gives me tenderness - a human puppy, in the first days and months, if you do not give him affection (conscious affection, I am not just talking about giving him food , change his diapers and throw him in the crib or throw him there); he cannot survive. You have to feel minimal conscious and directed affect to be able to exist psychically, physically. Imagine ... they have done experiments on it. That is no longer mine, they are scientific experiments, beyond my own scientific and practical observation. It is like they have done research on that affective aspect and it is important that you take this into account:within TATri you have to be genuine, with responsibility for the product of your actions in relation to mental, physical, emotional and spiritual protection. Protection and education of your children from the attitude of the word and from the attitude and example. Because it is from there that they will learn in different phases of their psychic constitution. And it is very important.
And it is the quality of the time that you spend raising and being with them. The quality of sharing is more important than the quantity of the present time. So if the little or long time they share is of an affective and exemplary quality, that is enough for the psyche of the son or daughter. Even for the father and mother internally and externally at the level of consciousness as well. And when one exhausts the possibilities, one feels at peace. Remember that. When I don't exhaust the possibilities, I feel disturbed. Remember that. So how do I know if I have exhausted the possibilities: I look at the whole context and feel Peace. If I do not feel peace in relation to the upbringing, it is because I am not exhausting the tangible possibilities. When I exhaust, beyond the external conflict, I feel peace. I have no internal conflict.
❧ AUM BAGAVATÉ TRIDEVIYE NAMAHA ❧
